Blog post written by Andrew Marshall
College is a place where students can discover their passions and continue to grow. However, the college experience can also be overwhelming. Between academics, work, family, and personal challenges, students may feel stressed or unsure of where to turn.
One thing some students don't always realize is that it's okay to ask for help. Throughout life, there are times when support is needed, and seeking help is not a sign of weakness. From the very beginning of our lives, we rely on others. When we're born, doctors and loved ones help guide us into the world. As we grow, that need for support doesn't disappear; it just takes different forms.
My First Semester
My grandmother passed away two months before college, and when I got to school, I was still grieving that loss while trying to adjust to college life. I always thought I could do everything on my own because I believed that asking for help would make me look weak or unintelligent.
During my first semester, I managed to earn good grades in most of my classes, except for one. For the first time in my life, I received a failing grade. I remember opening my computer and seeing it in disbelief. I knew I was capable of doing better, but I couldn't keep handling everything on my own. During my next semester, I decided to attend my professor's office hours and seek help to process my grief.
When I talked with my professor, I told him I felt alone, and I didn't know what to do. But he told me that good stories have conflict, and there is no development without it. Hearing him say that helped me keep going and put my best foot forward. I realized that accomplishing goals is easier when you have people who support you. Doing everything on your own can be tough, but having someone to support you can make a huge difference. It's similar to giving the same math problem to three different people. If two people work together while one works alone, the pair will often solve it faster because they can combine their ideas and strengths.
Overcoming the Fear of Reaching Out
Understanding that I'm not the only student who has difficulties reaching out also gave me the courage to ask for help.
The fear of asking for help extends beyond mental health. After meeting with 200 advisors, staff, and college administrators worldwide, the Lumina Foundation found that many educators said students will often wait until they are desperate to seek help. Whether it's fear of judgment or embarrassment, these beliefs can prevent students from accessing support systems that were created to help them succeed.
Knowing that it's okay to ask for help is important, but recognizing when you actually need support can be difficult. Many students think that they are experiencing normal stress and that they should ignore it. While some stress is a normal part of college, there comes a point when it begins to affect your academic performance, relationships, and overall well-being.
For me, one of the biggest signs was receiving a failing grade in class. It showed me that something wasn't working. Looking back, I was still grieving the loss of my grandmother and trying to handle everything on my own. I didn't realize it at the time, but those challenges were affecting my ability to succeed.
Recognizing You’re Not Alone
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, signs that someone may need support include difficulty concentrating, losing interest in activities they once enjoyed, feeling overwhelmed, and having trouble completing daily responsibilities. Other organizations, such as the CDC, note that constant stress, anxiety, abnormal sleep habits, and declining performance in school can also indicate that it may be time to seek help.
Recognizing these signs doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It simply means that you're human. The sooner we recognize when we need support, the sooner we can take steps to improve our well-being and get back on track. Having more support also has a great number of benefits, which could be:
- Improved Academic Performance
- Reduced stress and anxiety
- Building connections
- Boosting personal growth
Recognizing its benefits shows that the next step can be finding the resources available to support you. At UM-Dearborn, there are plenty of resources designed to help students navigate both academic and personal challenges.
Resources:
- Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS)
- Disability and Accessibility Services (DAS)
- Academic support
- Math Learning Center
- Writing Center
- Academic advising
Throughout this experience, I learned that strength isn't measured by how much you can achieve on your own, but by recognizing when you need support and taking the initiative to improve your situation. Just as a machine needs a power source to function, people grow through the support of others.
The most important lesson I hope you take away is that seeking help is not a sign that you are incapable, but a sign that you are committed to learning and becoming the best version of yourself. Even the strongest people need support, and there is nothing wrong with that.
